Countess Influencia has arrived — and Fairmount City’s heroes are already under her spell.
As her livestreamed crime spree unfolds, the heroes of Justice Ltd. are doing what any brave, noble defenders of justice would do in a moment of crisis: They’re staring at their phones, smashing the Like button, and assembling in her comments section.
Only Captain Heroic seems immune to her influence. Why? Because the last thing waiting on his phone is a text from Miss Match that reads: “We have to talk.”
And sometimes, emotional avoidance is the only thing standing between civilization and total collapse.
Dear Pentagram Forum
If you enjoyed the illustration that parodied those old “Dear Penthouse Forum” letters, the following exclusive post takes the joke all the way.
The short story tells the entire encounter from start to finish — the setup, the invitation, the escalation, and the kind of filthy left turn those letters always seemed to take when you realized you were no longer in the “saucy anecdote” section of the magazine.
This one is pure retro smut nostalgia: A horny little time capsule from the era when “I never thought this would happen to me…” was basically the Bat-Signal for bad decisions.
Transcript
Panel 1
A large monitor displays footage of Countess Influencia hovering over Fairmount City.
Several Justice Ltd heroes are gathered in the room, but instead of leaping into action, they’re all staring at their phones. Pink hearts stream upward from their screens.
Amazing Amazon: She’s… weirdly compelling.
Elastic Man: I only ‘liked’ ironically.
Wingman: I subscribed UN-ironically.
Captain Heroic: Why isn’t anyone… y’know… assembling?
Panel 2
Amazing Amazon: We are assembling.
Elastic Man: In her comments section.
Phenomenal Lass: Grab your phone and join us.
Panel 3
Captain Heroic remembers his last text from Miss Match: “We have to talk”
Cap, in a narration box: I… uhhhh… turned that off for a while.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic, flying into action: Who knew emotional avoidance could be a superpower?
New Avengers #28
Brian Bendis has revealed the final member of the New Avengers line-up: Spider-Man.
[
Newsarama]
WHAT BRIAN BENDIS SAYS: “Spider-Man – the man who made the biggest boner move of 2006 [laughs]…. He has a lot to answer for.
“There is a lot going on with Spider-Man post-Civil War, not much of which I can discuss, because it will be happening in his own books. But everything that is happening in his books – which is major, major stuff – will be reflected in New Avengers, and the extra added bonus you get in our book is you get to see the rest of the Marvel Universe reacting to him.
“There is nothing better in the whole history of literary fiction than a guilt-ridden Peter Parker, and we have the ‘King Kong’ of guilt-ridden Peter Parker’s now, on this team, trying to make amends for all the damage that was done and all the damage he did in outing himself and dealing with the disastrous implications of what happened since.�
Q: So Leinil Yu will be drawing him in the Black suit, at least to start?
“Yes. He is in the Black suit. Everything that happens in New Avengers mirrors what happens in the Spider-Man books, will be reflected on, and readers will get to see new angles on it.�
Read the
whole story.So, for those of you scoring at home (lucky devils!), the new lineup is: Iron Fist, Luke Cage, Spider-Woman, Wolverine, Doctor Strange, Ronin, Echo, and Spider-Man. Dang. That is one intriguing lineup. I guess I’m adding another title to my pull list, aren’t I?
To read Newsarama’s full coverage of New Avengers #28, click the links below.
Iron Fist and Luke Cage Spider-WomanWolverineDoctor StrangeRoninEcho
