Chapter 17 | Page 1b: A Superhero, a Smartphone, and One Very Unfortunate Phrase

#GuigarChristmasCountdown — Full Swing

On Tuesday, I launched this year’s daily Guigar Christmas Countdown, with a new single-panel cartoon dropping each day until Christmas. Here’s another sneak preview…

More are coming every day — each one paired with a conversation starter and full alt text. Catch them on BlueskyPatreon chat, the Evil Inc Subreddit, or wherever holiday absurdity is legally sold.

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Thanks for being here. Whether you’re here for the story, the spice, the craft talk, or the chaos, I’m thrilled you’re part of this little universe I’m building.

Hailey wants a chance to shine — but Rose has other priorities.

Captain Heroic arrives at Ralph’s Diner with Justice Ltd’s new Director of Public Engagement, Yazmine Velour, who’s recording his visit. Hailey is desperate to take their table, hoping for a little secondhand fame.

Transcript 

A comic sequence inside Ralph’s Diner. Hailey excitedly asks Rose to let her wait on Captain Heroic, who has just walked in with Yazmine Velour filming him on her phone. Rose declines, explaining he’s already seated in her section. Hailey suggests Rose hide a pimple since they’re recording. Hailey directs her to emergency concealer in the storage closet and tells her to “look for an old bag.” 

Panel 1
Hailey: “Let me wait on him today! Just this once!”
Rose: “Sorry, dear, he’s already in my section.”

Panel 2
Hailey: “No problem. But since they’re recording, you’ll wanna cover up that pimple first.”

Panel 3
Hailey: “I’ve got emergency concealer in the storage closet.”
Hailey (continuing): “Look for an old bag.”

Panel 4
Rose (inside closet): “There’s no old bag in—”
Rose: “Oh. I get it.”

 

Hoodwinked

I have a real bone to pick with the people who marketed the computer-animated feature Hoodwinked . They had me convinced I was going to hate the movie.

We ended up renting it over the weekend for Movie Night, and I roared from start to finish.

See, the trailer made it look like some kind of action flick in which the main characters from the Red-Riding-Hood story team-up to do battle in some kind of James Bond adventure. Turns out, this is the Brothers Grimm meets Law and Order. Furry and feathered cops from the animal world investigate a domestic disturbance at Granny’s cottage, involving a girl, a wolf, and an axe. The charges are many: breaking and entering, disturbing the peace, intent to eat, etc. After seeing the story from Red’s point of view, the story is re-told for the cops by each participant — the girl, the wolf, Grandma, and the Woodsman.

Of course, in each re-telling we learn a little more and thing we saw in Red’s version are seen in a new light or explained in a bizarre way. It’s really done in a clever way.

That alone would have gotten me into the movie theater, but then it came time for the wolf’s story and I was about to go from enjoyment to fandom. The wolf, wearing an old, hooded sweatshirt and a Lakers jersey, is a dead-on homage to the title character in the classic 80s comedy, Fletch.

And it’s done perfectly! The Harold Faltermeyer music in the background, the disguises, the razor-sharp dialogue as the Wolf goes undercover. Absolutely beautiful. My only quibble was that Patrick Warburton’s voice was too deep and menacing to pull off the trademark Fletch banter. Warburton does deadpan to a “T,” but Chevy Chase gave it that extra sarcastic bite that made it truly identifiable.

It was a much needed fix for this hardcore Fletch fan. I’ve been holding out hope that someday Kevin Smith will get around to doing that coveted third Fletch. movie, but I know not to get too optimistic. ‘Till then, I’ll have this gem.