Fairmount City has faced plenty of supervillains before. But this may be its first livestreaming supervillain.
After losing her brief burst of social-media stardom, Hailey re-emerges with a new look, a new name, and a dangerous new relationship with engagement metrics. Now she is Countess Influencia — the Validation Vampire — and every heart, like, and notification seems to make her stronger.
Fairmount News Network tries to cover the attack, but even the news crew can’t stop checking her feed. As hearts start streaming from phones across the city — and around the world — it becomes clear that this crime spree is no longer just a local story.
The world has met Countess Influencia.
And she would very much like you to smash that “Like” button.
Transcript
Panel 1
At the Fairmount News Network studio. Someone off panel whispers, “Psst! Ms. Takahaski! You’re on the air!” Hana Takahaski looks up from her smartphone and says, “Oh! Umm… We’ve got breaking news!”
Panel 2
Hana says, “We’re getting live reports of an attack on the downtown area.” A stream of hearts begins floating from her phone.
Panel 3
The scene widens. Hana is still on her phone. The cameraman is also on his phone. Streams of hearts flow from both phones and from other unseen people in the studio. Hana says, “She may be the first supervillain to livestream her own crime spree! Moreover…” Then, distracted by her phone, she says, “Hold on…” Her phone displays the text: “YAS, Queen!”
Panel 4 (inset)
Exterior view of the Fairmount News Network building. Several streams of hearts flow outward from inside the building and from the street below. Hana says, “Moreover, while Fairmount City is her current target, she has already taken the whole WORLD by storm!”
Panel 5
Hailey, now transformed into Countess Influencia, floats above the city as streams of hearts flow directly into her body. She says, “Look upon Countess Influencia and despair!” Then, in smaller type: “And don’t forget to smash that ‘Like’ button and subscribe!”
Alt text
A five-panel Evil Inc comic introduces Hailey’s new supervillain persona, Countess Influencia. At Fairmount News Network, anchor Hana Takahaski is caught looking at her phone just as she goes on the air with breaking news about an attack downtown. As she reports, red heart icons begin floating from her phone. The scene widens to show the cameraman and others in the studio also absorbed by their phones, with streams of hearts flowing upward. Hana reports that the villain may be the first supervillain to livestream her own crime spree, then gets distracted by a message reading, “YAS, Queen!” Outside the Fairmount News Network building, heart streams pour from the building and the street below. In the final panel, Hailey floats above the city in her new vampire-inspired outfit as Countess Influencia. Streams of hearts flow into her body as she declares, “Look upon Countess Influencia and despair!” She adds, “And don’t forget to smash that ‘Like’ button and subscribe!”
I have a real bone to pick with the people who marketed the computer-animated feature
Hoodwinked . They had me convinced I was going to hate the movie.
We ended up renting it over the weekend for Movie Night, and I roared from start to finish.
See, the trailer made it look like some kind of action flick in which the main characters from the Red-Riding-Hood story team-up to do battle in some kind of James Bond adventure. Turns out, this is the Brothers Grimm meets
Law and Order. Furry and feathered cops from the animal world investigate a domestic disturbance at Granny’s cottage, involving a girl, a wolf, and an axe. The charges are many: breaking and entering, disturbing the peace, intent to eat, etc. After seeing the story from Red’s point of view, the story is re-told for the cops by each participant — the girl, the wolf, Grandma, and the Woodsman.
Of course, in each re-telling we learn a little more and thing we saw in Red’s version are seen in a new light or explained in a bizarre way. It’s really done in a clever way.
That alone would have gotten me into the movie theater, but then it came time for the wolf’s story and I was about to go from enjoyment to fandom. The wolf, wearing an old, hooded sweatshirt and a Lakers jersey, is a dead-on homage to the title character in the classic 80s comedy,
Fletch. And it’s done
perfectly! The Harold Faltermeyer music in the background, the disguises, the razor-sharp dialogue as the Wolf goes undercover. Absolutely beautiful. My only quibble was that Patrick Warburton’s voice was too deep and menacing to pull off the trademark
Fletch banter. Warburton does deadpan to a “T,” but Chevy Chase gave it that extra sarcastic bite that made it truly identifiable.
It was a much needed fix for this hardcore
Fletch fan. I’ve been holding out hope that someday
Kevin Smith will get around to doing that coveted third
Fletch. movie, but I know not to get too optimistic. ‘Till then, I’ll have this gem.
