Here's a closer look at the Evil Inc emails...
“It’s good ta be da king…”
While watching Mel Brooks: The 99-Year-Old Man, three things jumped out at me and immediately elbowed their way into my creative psyche.
First: Fear. Or rather, the systematic, professional-grade obliteration of fear. Again and again, the documentary circles back to how much of Mel Brooks’ creative power came from refusing to be intimidated — by authority, by convention, by “good taste,” or by the quiet little voice that says don’t do that, people might judge you. That hit me right in the gut.
If fear is the tax we all pay for wanting to make things, Brooks just… stopped paying it.
Second: as the Zoomers would say, that man was horny on main.
I rewatched History of the World, Part I last night, and wow — no easing into it. From cavemen masturbating in the opening moments to wall-to-wall boob jokes, dick jokes, and lust as a driving historical force, the movie commits early and never lets up. It’s joyful. It’s shameless. It’s aggressively adolescent in the best possible way.
And as the World's Okayest Smut Dad, I found it deeply affirming. There’s something comforting about realizing that one of the most celebrated comedy legends of all time built his empire by saying, “Yes, but what if we made it dirtier?”
Third (and finally): whatever happened to Mary-Margaret Humes?
Va-va-va voom. That is all.
Taken together, it’s a reminder I didn’t know I needed: Fear is optional. Horniness is timeless. And comedy works best when it’s unembarrassed about what it loves.
Which is… honestly a pretty solid Evil Inc mission statement when you think about it.
Transcript
Panel 1
Caption (yellow box):
The next day…
Dr. Muskiday (entering the nearly empty office, which is empty, speaking):
Where is everybody?!
Didn’t they get my email??
Panel 2
Giant Tess (holding up a red book):
Here’s a guide to proper terminology in the workplace.
You’ll want to read it.
Panel 3
Giant Tess, continues in a narration box:
“Desi and ‘Dragon’ took one look at the subject line and got exactly the wrong idea.”
Inset image below narration:
An email inbox is shown with the subject line highlighted:
All-hands meeting — NOW!!
Other visible email subjects include:
- “Reminder: It’s Casual Fridays, Not ‘Casualty’”
- “Who Keeps Feeding the Lava Lamp?”
- “RE: Are Monologues Considered Testimony?”
- “Janitor’s Closet…?”
- “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All”
Panel 4
Giant Tess’ narration (yellow box):
“When I caught them, I told them to beat it.”
Giant Tess (pointing angrily):
(No dialogue)
Desdemona and Iron Dragon are caught mid-makeout on the floor.
Panel 5
Giant Tess:
I’ll… um… need that book after you’re finished with it.
DETAILED ALT TEXT
A five-panel comic set inside the Evil Inc corporate office.
Panel 1:
A yellow narration box reads “THE NEXT DAY…”. A wide shot of an empty open-plan office filled with gray cubicles, rolling office chairs, desktop computers, and filing cabinets. Dr. Muskiday — a short, fly creature in a lab jacket — walks into a nearly empty office. Giant Tess is standing there, looking annoyed. Dr. Musiday says, “WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!” followed by “DIDN’T THEY GET MY EMAIL??”
Panel 2:
A closer shot of Giant Tess holding up a red paperback book titled “Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide.” Dr. Muskiday’s large compound eyes peer up from the bottom of the panel. Tess calmly explains, “HERE’S A GUIDE TO PROPER TERMINOLOGY IN THE WORKPLACE. YOU’LL WANT TO READ IT.”
Panel 3:
Giant Tess’ dialogue is continued in a yellow narration box: “DESI AND ‘DRAGON’ TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE SUBJECT LINE AND GOT EXACTLY THE WRONG IDEA.”
Below is a close-up of an email inbox. The highlighted message reads: “ALL-HANDS MEETING — NOW!!” Other humorous subject lines fill the inbox, including reminders about Casual Fridays, questions about lava lamps, legal monologues, janitor’s closets, and an email chain titled “Re: Re: Re: Stop Replying All.”
Panel 4:
Another yellow narration box continues Giant Tess’ dialogue: “WHEN I CAUGHT THEM, I TOLD THEM TO BEAT IT.”
The scene shows Giant Tess pointing angrily at two coworkers on the office floor between cubicles. Desdemona, a red-skinned devil woman with small horns and a curvy build, is sitting in Iron Dragon’s lap. Iron Dragon, a muscular man in dark clothing with dragon-themed elements, has his arms around her. They are clearly caught mid-makeout and look startled and embarrassed.
Panel 5:
Giant Tess stands with Dr. Muskiday beside her, who is now holding the red Evil Inc. Style & Speech Guide. Tess looks awkward and thoughtful, one finger raised to her chin, as she says, “I’LL… UM… NEED THAT BOOK AFTER YOU’RE FINISHED WITH IT.”
In researching a Halloween comic for
Greystone Inn, I found out about Constantine Rafinesque, a Philly-born botanist who taught at Transylvania University (it really exists… in
Kentucky), did a little cross-pollination with the dean’s wife, and was abruptly dismissed. He levied a CURSE on the institution and… well,
you’ll just have to read the comic.
Rafinesque was a fascinating figure. I put some more information about him at the bottom of the post, if you’re interested…
I was always sad that the storyline didn’t get the recognition it deserved when it appeared in the
Philadelphia Daily News as part of a three-week storyline. So, when I launched Phables — my Eisner-nominated series of comics about life in Philadelphia —
I reformatted it into a “Phable.”
The following year,
I revisited the story with a sequel. After all, the previous year had made me somewhat popular with the campus of Transylvania University, and I wanted to return a little bit of that love with a modern-day look at their campus. It is also notable as the first appearance of Mac’s father, who was an homage to the Van Helsing character created by Bram Stoker.
All week I’m going to be highlighting a Halloween comic storylines from years past.
I’ll also take just a moment to tell you about my special Halloween comic that collects the best Halloween-themed stories from 13 —
thirteen — years of my comics. You’ll get spooky specials for Greystone Inn, Evil Inc and Phables — 80 pages of chuckles and chills!
And all for only $1.99 at DriveThruComics.
OR… you could
support my ongoing work in comics through Patreon. It doesn’t take a huge commitment. You can become a Patreon supporter for as little as $1 a month.
But if you sign up to
back me at the five dollar level, you’ll get this Halloween comic — and every past and upcoming Evil Inc monthly eComic — for
FREE.
Constantine Rafinesque, the rest of the story…
I had way more stuff than I could cram into the storyline. Here’s the rest:
Constantine Samuel Rafinesque-Schmaltz (1783-1840) was called “the Daniel Boone of Botany.”
Although he was not appreciated during his lifetime, scholars now recognize his amazing contributions to science.
For example, his 5,400-line epic poem discussed a theory of evolution that predated Darwin’s by more than 20 years.
And he was the first to classify over 100 species of plants and animals.
One such classification stands out among the rest. A gentleman who had welcomed Rafinesque into his house was awakened in the middle of the night by a tremendous clatter.
When he went to inspect the disturbance, he found a mostly-naked Rafinesque, wildly running about the room, swatting in the air with the handle of the host’s favorite violin.
The disheveled house guest was chasing bats, convinced that they belonged to an undocumented species.
They were.
And Rafinesque was the first to document them.
While spending the night in the house of John Jay Audobon.
