Chapter 17 | Page 13b: Hard bargaining

Posted on April 2, 2026 by Brad Guigar

At Evil Inc, even labor negotiations can spiral out of control — especially when “hard bargaining” takes on a whole new meaning. Cassie Cruz just realized that the conference room she prepped for Dr. Muskiday’s… unconventional solution… is already booked for a high-stakes union negotiation. Unfortunately, it looks like Doctor Threat and the henchpersons may have already reached an agreement.

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Transcript

Panel 1
Cassie Cruz (angry):
“We are NOT having an orgy at our desks!”

Dr. Muskiday (calmly defensive):
“Of course not! I stocked the conference room with mattresses and lube.”

Panel 2
Cassie Cruz (panicking):
“The conference room?! Doctor Threat is scheduled to negotiate a new contract with the henchpersons’ union in there!”

Panel 3
Cassie Cruz (looking toward a slightly open door):
“Where’s Doctor Threat?”

Dr. Muskiday (matter-of-fact):
“I believe that’s him in the middle of — erm — ‘collective bargaining.’”

(Sound effects from behind the closed conference room door:)
“Hhh hhh”
“Plap Ngh Plap Plap”
“Hngh hhh”
“mmf mmf mmf”

Detailed Alt Text

A three-panel comic set inside an office at Evil Inc.

Panel 1: Cassie Cruz, a professional woman with short brown hair, red glasses, a white blazer, and a low-cut yellow top, stands beside her desk looking furious. A small pink “emotion cloud” with a skull icon floats near her head, indicating anger. She shouts that they are not having an orgy at their desks. Standing nearby is Dr. Muskiday, a short humanoid with a fly’s head—large red compound eyes, small body, and lab coat—who calmly explains that he already prepared the conference room with mattresses and lube.

Panel 2: Close-up on Cassie clutching her head in alarm. Her expression is wide-eyed and panicked. She exclaims that the conference room is supposed to be used for an important union negotiation between Doctor Threat and the henchpersons’ union.

Panel 3: Cassie and Dr. Muskiday stand in a hallway facing a slightly open conference room door. Cassie asks where Doctor Threat is. Muskiday gestures toward the door and awkwardly suggests that Doctor Threat is inside, in the middle of “collective bargaining,” implying something sexual. From inside the room comes exaggerated, comic-style sound effects indicating vigorous activity: heavy breathing (“hhh hhh,” “hngh”), rhythmic “plap” noises, and muffled sounds (“mmf mmf”). The implication is that the union negotiation has devolved into an orgy inside the conference room.

A Scanner Dorkly: Nov. 12

Posted on November 12, 2009 by Brad Guigar

Last week was a dark week in comics. We saw some awfully, darned good villains cut down, one by one, in Masters of Evil, and we saw the same villain, Nightmare, appearing concurrently in two different titles, sporting two vastly different looks, driven by two completely different motivations. That’s a nightmare, all right… for Marvel’s editing staff. Meanwhile, in the DCU, Gail Simone takes a break from her duties at Secret Six, and we have to suffer through a series of kill scenes masqueading as a plot. Here are some of the lowlights. Click on the thumbnails for a full-page excerpt.

The Leaper vs the Licker



Masters of Evil #4

What had been a thoroughly enjoyable limited series came to an abrupt halt as the Hood’s plans to operate from an island fortress was halted by S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Red Guard. With all of the vicious bloodletting, I can see why this Guard is Red.

Y’know, I was really bothered by this.* I counted eight legacy villains terminated within about as many pages: Batroc the Leaper, Blizzard, the Constrictor, Wrecker, Sand-man, Madame Masque, the Hood and Absorbing Man.

I’ve been reading enough comics to know that many (or all) of these deaths are far from permanent, but it really bothered me to see heroes I’ve always considered… well, heroic… dispatching villains with such extreme prejudice. For example, Nightcrawler phasing Blizzard partway through a boulder? That’s just cold.

* I have been alerted by a couple of helpful Henchpeople that this story is an out-of-continuity arc, and has no effect on the Marvel Universe Proper. Color me red.

All the good names really *are* taken…



Batman: The Widening Gyre #3

The new hero in Gotham introduces himself to Batman after helping take doen third-stringer Black Spider.
Batman: Do you have a name?
Baphomet: I’ve been calling myself ‘Baphomet’, but I’ve never said it to anyone out loud yet. You’re my first.
Batman: Baphomet. The Sabbatic goat. It smacks of villainy..
Baphomet: I wanted something that’d scare the piss out of sociopaths.
…
Batman: You’re not a stoner, are you?

Note to Baphomet: It’s “superstitious and cowardly,” not “bookish and scholarly.” There aren’t many Gotham villains who are going to catch the reference to a character that first appeared in a late twelfth century Provençal poem and later as a term for a pagan idol in trial transcripts of the Inquisition of the Knights Templar in the early 1300s. And if those horns aren’t throwing his balance way off, I’d be amazed. Although it does remind me of that period of time in the eighties during which Batman’s ears got so ridiculously long that it took Frank Miller himself to clip them back.

Deadshot? Try Deadplot



Secret Six #15

That wasn’t fair. John Ostrander is a great writer. It’s just that Gail Simone has developed something really tremendous with Secret Six, and anything that’s not that is just… not that. And this really wasn’t that. Instead it was a brief introspection into Deadshot’s character, interspersed with several gratuitous, gorey kill scenes, culminating in a psychobabble conclusion that Deadshot’s brother, his son and Batman are all interchangeable where Deadshot’s psyche is concerned. In a diner, Deadshot explains his troubles to Rev. Richard Craemer, former chaplain at Belle Reve
Deadshot: Actually had my hands on a genuine “get out of jail free” card.
Rev. Craemer: That’s no big deal, Floyd. I have some in my wallet There’s a place online where you can get them.

Come back, soon, Gail.

From Deadshot to Deadpool



Deadpool Team-Up #1

Meanwhile, back in the Marvel Universe, the inaugural issue of Deadpool Team-up opens witha pairing of Merc and Herc. As I said in “Five to Pull” last week, both of these characters have experienced a renaissance in the past year-or-so, so it’s fun to see them played off one another. besides, they both have unique voices (several, in the case of Deadpool). And let’s not forget the history each has to share.
Hercules: So Mino’s queen Pasiphae ventured onto the pasture inside the cow costume. The Cretan bull was completely fooled! The beast got on top of her, then–
Deadpool: Burg! That’s where minotaurs come from? Geez, you ancient Greeks really know how to throw a party…
Hercules: Aye. Good times. Good times.

The Doctor is In. For now



Dr. Voodoo #2

I just found another reason to dislike the new Sorceror Supreme. (As if that “juju” stuff wasn’t enough.) I must have missed this before, but he’s guided by the spirit of his dead brother who seems to eminate from a cauldron. So, now he’s not only swiping the Dr. Strange shtick, but that of yet another mystical comics character — a sorcerer who has been conjuring a ghostly guide out of a cauldron for decades! This has to stop.