Chapter 17, Page 26b: Massive Power Surge

Dr. Muskiday was this close to finding a way to defeat the macronanos.

Then came a massive power surge.

Now the macronanos are suddenly swimming in raw emotional energy, Muskiday has to redouble his efforts, and nobody at Evil Inc can figure out where all that extra power came from.

Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, Countess Influencia has a very simple request for Captain Heroic:

“Kiss me.”

Mystery solved.


Evil Inc After Dark: Full Stream Ahead collects three complete Evil Inc storylines — along with their adults-only “after dark” counterparts. These spicy chapters peel back the curtain on what happens when superhero satire and workplace comedy take a decidedly NSFW turn.

• Heroic Revenge — Captain Heroic and Miss Match try to build trust while Commander Heroic continues to loom over their relationship. Meanwhile, Lightning Lady falls for a mysterious new face at Evil Inc whose past may prove explosive.

• Homeward Bound — Desi’s time on Earth is almost up unless she can pull off one major act of mischief. Her solution looks suspiciously like an OnlyFans account. Meanwhile, Cap and Miss Match discover that Commander Heroic still has opinions about their love life.

• Long-Lost Fiends — Cassie Cruz’s superhero temp agency is booming, but Thea Rhutman has villainous plans of her own. And Lightning Lady finds herself tempted by an old flame — a cheerful, musclebound minotaur.

And that’s not all. Full Stream Ahead includes the brand-new bonus story “Loads of Love,” an unrated adventure never before collected in print. When Dynasty and Battalion discover their superpowers can be passed along genetically, they decide it may be time to start a new kind of super team — with a little hands-on assistance from their friends.

Packed with superhero satire, workplace comedy, romantic complications, and plenty of adults-only bonus material, Full Stream Ahead is the next oversized installment of Evil Inc After Dark.


Transcript

Panel 1:
Countess: You heard me, Cap… I said ‘kiss me!”

Panel 2
Captain Heroic leans forward to kiss

Panel 3:
Countess’ phone releases confetti, breaking up the kiss: Congratulations! 500.1k followers!

Panel 4:
Countess: That’s… that’s half-a-million!
Captain Heroic: How many followers would make you truly happy?

Panel 5:
Countess: …more.

Panel 6:
Narration box: Back at Evil Inc
Sound effect: Arrrrrggghhhh!

Panel 7:
Holo-Clone Miss Match: What’s the matter, snookums?
Dr. Muskiday: I was so close to finding a way to defeat the macronanos!

Panel 8:
What happened?

Panel 9:
Dr. Muskiday: They’ve had a massive power surge. I’ll need to re-double my efforts!

Panel 10:
HoloClone Miss Match: Where did they get so much raw emotional power?!

Panel 11:
Miss Match (controlled by a macronano) is watching the Countess’ livestream as Hailey asks Cap to kiss her.


Alt text

Five-panel Evil Inc comic. Back at Evil Inc, HoloClone Miss Match asks Dr. Muskiday what is wrong. Muskiday says he was close to finding a way to defeat the macronanos, but they have experienced a massive power surge. He says he will need to redouble his efforts and wonders where they got so much raw emotional power. In the final panel, a macronano reacts violently to Countess Influencia’s offscreen command, “Kiss me,” while HoloClone Miss Match asks whether this means she can use her Mentos bikini.

A Scanner Dorkly: Nov. 12

Last week was a dark week in comics. We saw some awfully, darned good villains cut down, one by one, in Masters of Evil, and we saw the same villain, Nightmare, appearing concurrently in two different titles, sporting two vastly different looks, driven by two completely different motivations. That’s a nightmare, all right… for Marvel’s editing staff. Meanwhile, in the DCU, Gail Simone takes a break from her duties at Secret Six, and we have to suffer through a series of kill scenes masqueading as a plot. Here are some of the lowlights. Click on the thumbnails for a full-page excerpt.

The Leaper vs the Licker


Masters of Evil #4

What had been a thoroughly enjoyable limited series came to an abrupt halt as the Hood’s plans to operate from an island fortress was halted by S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Red Guard. With all of the vicious bloodletting, I can see why this Guard is Red.

Y’know, I was really bothered by this.* I counted eight legacy villains terminated within about as many pages: Batroc the Leaper, Blizzard, the Constrictor, Wrecker, Sand-man, Madame Masque, the Hood and Absorbing Man.

I’ve been reading enough comics to know that many (or all) of these deaths are far from permanent, but it really bothered me to see heroes I’ve always considered… well, heroic… dispatching villains with such extreme prejudice. For example, Nightcrawler phasing Blizzard partway through a boulder? That’s just cold.

* I have been alerted by a couple of helpful Henchpeople that this story is an out-of-continuity arc, and has no effect on the Marvel Universe Proper. Color me red.

All the good names really *are* taken…


Batman: The Widening Gyre #3

The new hero in Gotham introduces himself to Batman after helping take doen third-stringer Black Spider.

Batman: Do you have a name?
Baphomet: I’ve been calling myself ‘Baphomet’, but I’ve never said it to anyone out loud yet. You’re my first.
Batman: Baphomet. The Sabbatic goat. It smacks of villainy..
Baphomet: I wanted something that’d scare the piss out of sociopaths.

Batman: You’re not a stoner, are you?

Note to Baphomet: It’s “superstitious and cowardly,” not “bookish and scholarly.” There aren’t many Gotham villains who are going to catch the reference to a character that first appeared in a late twelfth century Provençal poem and later as a term for a pagan idol in trial transcripts of the Inquisition of the Knights Templar in the early 1300s. And if those horns aren’t throwing his balance way off, I’d be amazed. Although it does remind me of that period of time in the eighties during which Batman’s ears got so ridiculously long that it took Frank Miller himself to clip them back.

Deadshot? Try Deadplot


Secret Six #15

That wasn’t fair. John Ostrander is a great writer. It’s just that Gail Simone has developed something really tremendous with Secret Six, and anything that’s not that is just… not that. And this really wasn’t that. Instead it was a brief introspection into Deadshot’s character, interspersed with several gratuitous, gorey kill scenes, culminating in a psychobabble conclusion that Deadshot’s brother, his son and Batman are all interchangeable where Deadshot’s psyche is concerned. In a diner, Deadshot explains his troubles to Rev. Richard Craemer, former chaplain at Belle Reve

Deadshot: Actually had my hands on a genuine “get out of jail free” card.
Rev. Craemer: That’s no big deal, Floyd. I have some in my wallet There’s a place online where you can get them.

Come back, soon, Gail.

From Deadshot to Deadpool


Deadpool Team-Up #1

Meanwhile, back in the Marvel Universe, the inaugural issue of Deadpool Team-up opens witha pairing of Merc and Herc. As I said in “Five to Pull” last week, both of these characters have experienced a renaissance in the past year-or-so, so it’s fun to see them played off one another. besides, they both have unique voices (several, in the case of Deadpool). And let’s not forget the history each has to share.

Hercules: So Mino’s queen Pasiphae ventured onto the pasture inside the cow costume. The Cretan bull was completely fooled! The beast got on top of her, then–
Deadpool: Burg! That’s where minotaurs come from? Geez, you ancient Greeks really know how to throw a party…
Hercules: Aye. Good times. Good times.

The Doctor is In. For now


Dr. Voodoo #2

I just found another reason to dislike the new Sorceror Supreme. (As if that “juju” stuff wasn’t enough.) I must have missed this before, but he’s guided by the spirit of his dead brother who seems to eminate from a cauldron. So, now he’s not only swiping the Dr. Strange shtick, but that of yet another mystical comics character — a sorcerer who has been conjuring a ghostly guide out of a cauldron for decades! This has to stop.