Today’s page takes us back to Ralph’s Diner, where Captain Heroic proves—once again—that nothing rattles him… not even a surprise soup bath.
Hailey is mortified, Captain Heroic is dripping, and somewhere across the diner, Yazmine Velour is livestreaming the whole thing as heart emojis rain from the internet. It’s a small moment, but one that says a lot about who Cap really is—and why people can’t help falling for him.
Transcript
Panel 1
Hailey (distraught that she has dumped hot soup on Captain Heroic): Omigod Omigod Omigod…
Captain Heroic (turning to another person eating at the diner): Excuse me. Would you hand me a napkin, please? (The person hands him a napkin)
Panel 2
Hailey: I’m so sorry Captain Heroic, sir. I didn’t mean to — {sob}
Panel 3
Captain Heroic (handing her the napkin): Here. Please don’t cry.
Panel 4
Captain Heroic (continues): Most of my first impressions involve disintegration rays. And actual impressions. In concrete.
Panel 5
Captain Heroic: This was far more pleasant — not counting the bay leaf in my shirt.Yazmine Velour (as she livestreams the interaction from the other side of the diner, a torrent of heart emojis flow from her phone as the audience reacts): Omigod Omigod Omigod
After Dark
This week's commissioned MicroFic delivers exactly what you’d want from a pairing between Dynasty and Father Christmas.
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Yes, he lives up to his name.
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Yes, Dynasty knew exactly what she was doing.
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No, the North Pole will never be the same.
I also posted the Goblin Girl MicroFic from the Monster Girl poll — and the response was so good, I might need to make these poll-powered MicroFics a recurring thing!
The Week in Villainy: Taking stock of super-villains
— Dark Reign: Hawkeye: Of all the villains who have assumed the mantle of replacement Avengers under Norman Osborne, none are having a tougher time with the transition than Bullseye, who now goes by Hawkeye.
In issue 1 of
Dark Reign: Hawkeye, Bullseye is having trouble getting used to playing hero under Norman Osborne’s Dark Avengers. Osborne promises him blood in exchange for Bullseye playing nice for the cameras, but it proves too much for the assassin.
At the end of the first of this five-issue series, Bullseye looks as if he might actually be finding a balance between bloodletting and heroing by going down the “kill only the evil-doers” route. But as he dispatches the victim he’d saved only seconds ago, we see that his psychosis is perhaps a few leagues too deep for that.
For the record. I could have really done without the visual of how he dispatched said victim, by the way. It’s not for the squeemish
By issue 2, Bulls/Hawk-eye has to deal with the TV news camera crew who caught him in the act of being himself.
This is shaping up to be a terrific run. Bullseye is a powerful character, when he’s in the right hands. And writer Andy Diggle has the chops to do it very well. Throw in a rock-solid visual crew of Tom Raney and Scott Hanna, and you’ve got a keeper.
Bullseye, who has recently been played somewhat clownish, scores some major VQ points in this series, bringing his rating up to a respectable eight. We’ll be checking in again at the end of the series for an adjustment, if necessary.
