Chapter 17 | Page 2b: The Ol’ Battle Ax

The #GuigarChristmasCountdown Rolls On

Every day until Christmas, I’m releasing a brand-new holiday single-panel gag — and this year’s batch has already included:

  • Overworked elves

  • Malfunctioning snowmen

  • Questionable reindeer behavior

  • And Santas who are absolutely phoning it in

Next week’s cartoons keep the absurdity rolling. If you’re counting down to Christmas with me… buckle up. We’re not even halfway to the weirdest ones. Catch them on BlueskyPatreon chat, or the Evil Inc Subreddit.

TRANSCRIPT

Panel 1 (Later)
Hailey: “Come on, Rose! This is a big opportunity for me! Just tell me what Cap’s ‘usual’ is!”

Panel 2
Rose (from inside the storage closet): “Fine. He loves chicken soup — extra crackers — and a tall lemonade.”

Panel 3
Rose: “Say… do you think you could open the door now? There’s not much air in here.”

Panel 4
Hailey: “If you look in the corner, you’ll see an old battle ax.”

Panel 5
Hailey: “There’s no battle ax in— Oh.”

Panel 6
SFX: KRAKK

Panel 7
Rose (calmly): “Thank you!”

The Grinch on Broadway

And on to my gripe for the day. It seems like a pretty standard announcement:

[ASSOCIATED PRESS:] The musical adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ holiday tale “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” will make its Broadway debut this fall at the Hilton Theatre, running from Nov. 8 until Jan. 7, 2007, according to a news release Monday. Previews of the show begin Oct. 25.

The widow of Dr. Seuss, whose real name was Theodor Geisel, will serve as an associate producer of the New York “Grinch” show. Geisel died in 1991.
Read more.

But read that last paragraph again: Geisel’s widow will be an associate producer; her husband died in 1991.

Y’see, while the good Doctor was alive, he insisted that his characters not be used in marketing and merchandizing beyond the books. They lived very well off those books. There was plenty to go around on the books. Opening up the Cat in the Hat and his other creations to licensing and merchandizing options would only serve to cheapen their meaningfulness. There was a couple expections — a few animated features done in collaboration with Chuck Jones, for example — but for the most part, Dr. Seuss was absolutely against using his characters towards any commercial uses such as cereal boxes, T-shirts, lunchboxes, toys, TV shows, movies, etc.

Six years after he dies, his wife, Audrey, opened the floodgates. We’ve seen a steady stream of Seuss-related crappola ever since: A couple of big-budget movie stinkers, a wide array of apparel, and countless goo-gags.

And now a Broadway flop-in-the-making.

Mrs. Seuss: You should be as ashamed, ashamed, ashamed as can be; to defile poor Teddy’s legacy.