Hailey thought she was serving a fan. Turns out she was just serving condiments.
Poor Hailey. One viral moment and suddenly every interaction feels like the beginning of a redemption arc. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans — and those plans involve a side of extra ranch dressing.
Meanwhile, somebody mysterious is sliding into her DMs with promises of social-media glory. That’s probably fine. Nothing ominous ever starts with a stranger saying, “I can make that happen.”
Transcript
Text conversation on the left
Unknown: “Do you want your followers back?”
Hailey: “No.”
Unknown: “I can make that happen.”
Hailey: “I want twice as many.”
Unknown: “I won't wait forever.”
Hailey: “Sure. [eyeroll emoji]”
Unknown: “Opportunity requires initiative. I'll send my address.”
Panel 1:
Customer at a booth in Ralph’s Diner: “Hey! Aren’t you that girl who dumped soup on Captain Heroic?”
Hailey: “Ha-ha. Guilty!”
Panel 2:
Customer: “Could I ask you something?”
Hailey: “Say no more! I’m out of glossy photos, but I’ll be happy to sign your menu!”
Panel 3:
Customer: “That wasn’t my question.”
Hailey: “Oh. Go ahead! Anything for a fan!”
Panel 4:
Customer: “Can I get extra ranch dressing?”
Alt text
Four-panel “Evil Inc” comic with a sidebar showing a text conversation. On the left, waitress Hailey exchanges messages with an unknown sender. The messages read: “Do you want your followers back?” Hailey replies, “No. I want twice as many.” The sender says, “I can make that happen.” Hailey replies, “Sure. [eyeroll emoji]” The sender says, “I won't wait forever.” The sender finishes with, “Opportunity requires initiative. I'll send my address.”
In the comic panels, Hailey is working at Ralph’s Diner, wearing a short white waitress uniform and apron. She has long red hair and carries a pen and order pad. A middle-aged gray-haired customer in glasses sits at a booth eating a burger and fries.
In the first panel, the customer excitedly recognizes her and asks if she is “that girl who dumped soup on Captain Heroic.” Hailey smiles awkwardly and admits, “Ha-ha. Guilty!”
In the second panel, the customer asks, “Could I ask you something?” Hailey immediately assumes he wants an autograph and enthusiastically says she is out of glossy photos but would happily sign his menu.
In the third panel, the customer clarifies, “That wasn’t my question.” Hailey looks embarrassed and says, “Oh,” then gestures dramatically and says, “Go ahead! Anything for a fan!”
In the final panel, the customer simply asks, “Can I get extra ranch dressing?” Hailey looks deflated and disappointed while the customer remains casual and oblivious.
The LA Times has an excellent
story about the future of the comic strip, as seen by the likes of Berke Breathed, Cathy Guisewite, and Wiley Miller. They are appearing at a panel discussion in LA on Sunday.
I can’t say it better than Mr. Breathed: “
‘I don’t think you’ll ever see another ‘Calvin & Hobbes,’ ‘Bloom County’ or ‘Doonesbury’ again,’ says Breathed, 48, who received the Pulitzer Prize for editorial cartooning in 1987. ‘The popularity of those strips was built on a young audience great comic strips are not built on the backs of aging readers.’
“Part of the problem, Breathed and other cartoonists say, is that newspapers, when choosing their comic strip lineup, put too much emphasis on the opinions of aging readers. As a result, stalwart strips such as ‘Peanuts,’ which continues to run as a reprint since the death of Charles M. Schulz in 2000, and ‘Blondie,’ which was created in 1930 by Chic Young, tend to remain entrenched on comics pages.
“As middle-of-the-road as ‘Blondie’ is, it’s surprising to learn that it has come to represent a divisive topic in the comic strip community. Young passed away in 1973, and since then ‘Blondie’ has been carried on by his son, Dean, and is known as an example of a ‘legacy’ strip.
“‘As an art form, comics are threatened by legacy strips,’ Breathed says. ‘The fact that papers are running [legacy strips] throughout the country is a sign that they’re desperate to cling to the readers they think they need, and they’re afraid to take risks and find the new talent.’”
To complete the vicious cycle, syndicates gauge the timidity of newspaper editors, and as a result, choose only the blandest offerings to syndicate.
That means even the bravest newspaper editor has a watered-down selection to choose from if he or she actually wants to find some new talent for the comics page.
In response, Denise Joyce, president of the American Association of Sunday and Feature Editors, “
says that while comics are not the huge player they used to be 20 or 30 years ago, they are definitely on the minds of features editors.”
“Regarding legacy strips, Joyce admits it’s difficult to replace them without making their fans angry. As a compromise, Joyce says her paper is running some comics online and Web-linking to others.”
Of course, once their newspaper readers discover comics published on the Web, they’re bound to discover a much wider world of comics that aren’t available in their newspapers, aren’t they? Comics that are neither watered-down nor timid.
So, in a way, people like me are indebted to the myopia of people like Ms. Joyce.
You keep sending them, Ms. Joyce, and I’ll keep keeping them.
Read the whole story.